And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
