these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
