Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
