My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
