the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
