hell yes lets make some ravioli
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
