she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize