Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
