brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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