Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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