I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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