I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
