Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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