question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
