Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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