Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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