Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
