I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
