1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
