as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
