I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
