Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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