So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
