she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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