i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
