Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
