he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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