if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
