I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
