She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
