Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
