Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
