I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
