i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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