Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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