T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
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