if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She announced her abortion via fbk
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
