my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
