Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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