she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
