I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
