I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
