he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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