nutella sex= disaster
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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