Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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