yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
