if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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