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I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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