it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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