I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
